COURAGEOUS CONVERSATIONS: How Your Conflict Style Shapes Every Difficult Conversation (S09-041)

 

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What if the conversations you’re avoiding… are actually the doorway to the relationships you want?

In this replay from our Courageous Conversations series, I sit down with conflict resolution expert James Guinn to explore a truth most of us would rather sidestep: conflict isn’t the problem—our style of engaging it is.

Together, we unpack the hidden patterns that shape how you show up when tension rises—whether you withdraw, accommodate, compete, analyze, or collaborate—and how those instincts, often wired beneath your awareness, quietly drive the outcomes of your hardest conversations.

Here’s the deal: every difficult conversation is a negotiation. Not just of outcomes, but of needs, emotions, and meaning. And if you don’t understand your default conflict style—or the style of the person across from you—you’ll keep talking past each other, escalating what could’ve been resolved.

James brings a practical framework for identifying what actually triggers conflict (hint: it’s not always what you think), and I connect the dots to the Enneagram—because knowing your type isn’t just about self-awareness, it’s about relational wisdom in real time.

We also wrestle with a deeper question: How often is the conflict really about the issue… and how often is it about something underneath—process, expectations, or old emotional wounds we’ve carried into the room?

If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation thinking, “That did not go how I hoped,” this episode will give you a new playbook.

Tune in next week as Anthony and I talk through a simple, practical framework for having difficult conversations. 

 

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